Idiotcracy

Who The Idiot ?


Planning to save this image for a lengthy post, but couldnt crap up any... nevermind, as they say a picture speaks a thousand words ;)

Or maybe you prefer a quote ?

"A fool is born every minute" - P.T Barnum

hehehe :P

Desires

How do I say "I miss you" when you are not with me,
How do I say "I need you" when my heart yearns for you,
How do I say "I love you" when my heart cries for you,

I cant.
No action or words can show the depths of my feelings for you,
How I hate to be away from you,
How I hate to leave you,

I know I shouldn't be this way but its what my heart desires,
Can't stop thinking of you,
My Love
Can't stop being in love with you...

Famished

Continued from Stray

As all memories goes, I couldnt be bothered to keep track of mine. But the incident couldnt be lapsed so easily. For I was save from the jaws of death by an angel. The very same angel who shoos me away, loathing my presence.

It wasnt a dark and stormy night. No rain drops was falling down, no thunder flashing in the background, not even a cold misty fog rolling around. The full moon was out splashing its radiance all over. Light so bright you would think it was in the afternoon with the sun shimmering behind a thin layer of clouds.


The air smells delightful. Scents of delicious steaming food whafts from a cafe hidden a few blocks away. Hunger lurched inside within me, my belly growls to sounds its agreement. My nose & the longing for food pulls me towards the source of the smell. My mind fails to focus on the heading, starvation filling the bidding to move towards the source without thought.

Eat first, worry later. The thought of my belly resounding with each footsteps I take. Subconsciously, I know that its a very bad motion to move towards the source, for its in a territory of a pack of strange dogs. They seemed to have lost their sanity, always drooling with a vicious snarl which meant to kill and not warn. I've seen a madless rage from deep in their colourless eyes, and known since then to stay away from them.

But my brain tries unsuccessfully to reason with the urged from deep within me, and no command managed to stay my feet to the ground. Step by step, pace by pace, I crept at a quicken pace filled with anxiety and longing.

To be continued... Survival

Kisah Kancil

One day an old man was driving his kancil along a highway, then suddenly the car broke down and wouldn't restart.

Old man tot he'll be stuck on the highway with no passerby to help him when suddenly a porsche drove by and stopped to help him.The young man suggest to the old man tat his porsche will tow his kancil to a nearby mechanic.

The old man agrees but he voice out his concern over the porsche speed - the young man then suggest tat everytime he drove too fast, the old man shud flash his lights, or honk loudly to ask the young man to slow down - both agreed.

As they were driving at 60kmph, a ferrari drove by the porsche challenging it for a race,but the young man endure it n remain at 60kmph. The ferrari didnt give up, still challenging porsche for race.In the end the porsche became very impatient, accepted the challenge n started driving at 200kmph

As the were racing away, police was around with their speed trap took both the ferrari n porsche dangerous speeding limit. The traffic police then went home to tell his fren an amazind finding of the day.

He says "you know, today i saw an amazing thing happened"

"I saw a ferrari n a porsche speeding at almost 240kmph"

His frens say "Thats nothing amazing, those are fast cars"

The policeman continues "No, tats not it, the amazing part is i saw a Kancil right behind the porsche, at speed of 200kmph, honking loudly n flashing his lights at the porsche asking the porsche to give way to kancil to drive pass both fast cars"

Source : Fren who have a dog named Bobby

Our is an Awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
he reigns from heaven above
with wisdom power and love
our God is an awesome God

As things were

Being quiet lately as piggy cant seem to find the time to blog or the inspiration to write anything at all...

Life is being just as it is...

Hectic...
Quiet...
Interesting...
Boring...
Slow-moving...
Quacking...
and Just as it is...

Sometimes being in such a profound pace, one can seem to catch one's own breath and yet ... dozing off in the heat of the pace and coming to a sudden halt or slowdown all together...

But it is as it is... thats how we are in the world.. to be in a time and place where no place have ever been unexplored or a time which have not being unspent..

Ofcoz alot of us wonders where or even wat we are supposed to be doing...

When life's Pace quicken we ask : "FUIYOH.. why so fast... slower slower.. *gasp gasp* ..."
When life's Pace slows we ask : "Aiya... sien ler.. why eveli day so sien one.. faster.."

But all we had to do.. is just go as the flow... pace fast.. flow fast... pace slow.. flow slow...

Hrmm... wat is this pig thinking ?
He has no idea.. :D

I think he got too many whacks on his head liao... hehe

Until then.... Go with the flow *wink wink*

Beng-lish Translator

OMG ... you guys would not believe it but piggy stumbled upon this siao kia punya siao siao translator at Kenny Sia...

Its a BENG-LISH translator, it translates webpages into ah beng's language... veli syok :D

Piggy translated his own brog and were ROFL liao :P

Try & C ---> Click Here

hehehe

siao i tell you...

The most funnious article was the AUgust Pig-gi-in

It got translated into this --->

Pig-gi-in

I love you
NABEH!

Limpeh Want You

NABEH!

Limpeh Love to Want You
NABEH!

Limpeh Want to Love You

NABEH!

Limpeh Love to Want to Love You
NABEH!

Limpeh Want to Love to Want You

*ok this pig is nuts.. tankiuk alot.. :P

ROFL ROFL .. NUTS>..

ok.. back to work :P

Fazed by the Haze

Verb's Yahoo Status was set as "where am i ?" and Piggy decided to bug him a bit...

Piggy : "u r in a hazed filled city breathing carbon monoxide generated by a 3rd world country burning the earths diminishing forests like no tomorrow wasting our precious breaths into the next millenium"

Verb : "err..how comforting"

Piggy : "ROFL .. comforting is knowing that a million souls is also in the same quandary as you are in ;)"

*micheal jackson song "You are not alone" playing in the background*

Verb : "thank you fren (teary eye)"

Piggy : "ROFL, u r welcome :D"

:P

Subject : What to do during the haze phase

Verb : "wat r u going to do bout the haze?"

Piggy : "BREATHE in .... BREATHE out..... "

Verb : "hmm..goood idea. u dun get this type of air often"

Piggy : "yap :D"

Subject : People sometimes respond even if you dont know about it

A moment later I caught one of my colleague status message as "WheRe R U?"
She doesn't know Verb and Verb doesn't know her...

Piggy : "oi oi .. tell u sumthing.. theres a cute girl on my yahoo taht is 2nd guessing u ..and i dont think u know her.. her YM status : "WheRe R U?".. :D u got an admirer, cool huh ? :D"

Verb : "cooool... she can c me meh?"

Piggy : "Nope .. ROFL"

Verb : "ceh"

Piggy : "eh.. but good mar.. she cant c u.. but she put tat status... and u put this status... :D"

Scenario 1
L : "Where r u ?"
V : "Where am i?" *he doesnt know where he is...*

Scenario 2
V : "Where am i?" *he still doesnt know where he is...*
L : "Where r u ?" *must be thinking he is veli blur to not know where he is..*

IT WORKS BOTH WAYS !!!

:PpPp

Pig-gi-in

I love you
I Want You

I Love to Want You
I Want to Love You

I Love to Want to Love You
I Want to Love to Want You

*ok this pig is nuts.. thanks alot.. :P

Basic Project Management

Saw Danny's YM status is set as : "Someone please kill me before I kill someone"

Piggy : "how do u wanto die ? *thinks* i can help to kill you before u kill someone.. but need u to let me know how u wanto die.. *wink wink*"
Danny : "i want to die with a lot of girls around me trying to suffocate me with their boobs"
Piggy : "hmmmmm... *scratches head*.. ah kua can or not ?"
Danny : "cannot!!"
Piggy : "cheaper ler.. can lar.. *wink wink* tight budget mar :D "
Danny : "budget cannot reduce, but then we cut the timeline lor... basic project management :P hahaha"
Piggy : ROFL

Choleric, Phlegmatic, Sanguine, Melancholic

Piggy was dumb-founded by Day when asked what my personality is like...

Day : "Are you a Choleric, phlegmatic, sanguine or melancholic?"

Piggy : O_o *dumb-founded*

*-----------------------------------*

Piggy look it up on Dictionary.com ... convenience of the net on the piggy tips.. hehe

Choleric
1. Easily angered; bad-tempered.
2. Showing or expressing anger.
Exp : "men of the choleric type take to kicking and smashing"- H.G.Wells
From Wikipedia :-
A person who is choleric is easily angered or bad tempered. In folk medicine, a baby referred to as "cholic" is one who cries frequently and seems to be constantly angry.
The disease Cholera likely gained its name from the temperament.

Phlegmatic
1. Of or relating to phlegm; phlegmy.
2. Having or suggesting a calm, sluggish temperament; unemotional.
From Wikipedia :-
A phlegmatic person is calm and unemotional. Phlegmatic means pertaining to phlegm.

Sanguine
1. Cheerfully confident; optimistic.
2. Having the bodily conformation and temperament held characteristic of such predominance and marked by sturdiness, high color, and cheerfulness
From Wikipedia :-
Sanguine personality - optimistic, cheerful, even-tempered, confident, rational, popular, fun-loving; the temperament of blood.

Melancholic
1. Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom:
2. Pensive; thoughtful.
Exp : "There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass” (Charles Kuralt)."
From Wikipedia :-
It was characterized by "aversion to food, despondency, sleeplessness, irritability, restlessness," as well as the statement that "Grief and fear, when lingering, provoke melancholia".

*-----------------------------------*

Hmmmmm.... ok lets see how we size this piggy up from the summary we can get from above :P ...

Choleric :
1. Easily angered
Nop,piggy does get angry, but not tat easy
2. Bad-tempered
Nop
3. Showing/expressing anger
Yap, hate to admit but piggy will definetely show & express anger when he is angry
4. kicking and smashing
kicking yes... smashing no.. piggy used to kick football last time and he also kicks his toe into objects...
5. cries frequently
cries... yes... frequently.. no..
6. constantly angry
NEVER
7. having Cholera
Last Piggy checked, he dont have diarrhea, abdominal cramps, nausea, vomiting, and dehydration :P
Overall : 2 of 7 = 28%

Phlegmatic :
1. calm
Calm... cool :P
2. sluggish
only at work without coffee :P
3. unemotional
nope.. quite emotional
4. having phlegm
*cough cough* ka kak kak *ahem* nop
Overall : 2 of 4 = 50%

Sanguine :
1. Cheerfully confident
Always "cheerfully" confident kikikiki
2. optimistic
The Cup of water is Half Full and NOT Half Empty :P
3. predominance
Nop, not dominant at all
4. sturdiness
Only if you count the BIG round sturdy lump of lard the pig is carrying with him
5. high color
Nop, Piggy is 16 Bit colours, not 32 Bit colour
6. cheerfullness
Yeayyhhhh, cheerfull as a kettle pipped to the whistle
7. even-tempered
Temper quite leveled
8. rational
Sometimes, but Piggy prefer to be irrational... how to have fun if being rational takes the fun out of it ? ;P
9. popular
Hey, I got my own blog, and you guys are reading it, so HELL YEAH !! :PpPp
10. fun-loving
Definetely, ask Lovely if you dont believe it... that I Love her in a Fun way :P hehe
Overall : 6 of 10 = 60%

Melancholic
1. Sadness
For now yes, being away from Lovely is making pig a sad pig.. :(
2. depression
Nope, not yet reach middle age crisis yet
3. Gloom
Got a broom to sweep the Gloom hehe
4. Pensive
Blain is 2 plain for this frame
5. thoughtful
No need explain :P
6. wind
Got Gas, Got Wind... *bfffttt* hehe
7. sorrow
Only tomorrow got sorrow, never today.. and its always Today
8. aversion to food
NEVER !!! I EAT TO LIVEEEE ... and also to stop from kili kulu ;)
9. despondency
When in doubt, transform to super Pig and strike this phase out
10. sleeplessness
Sleep? whats tat ? *thinks deeply*
11. irritability
*whistles innocently*
12. restlessness
*twitching fingers*
13. Grief
Nop
14. Fear
Everyone has it ;)
Overall : 6 of 14 = 42%

*-----------------------------------*

Hmmm.. so how did this pig fared.. ?

28% Choleric
50% Phlegmatic
60% Sanguine
42% Melancholic

:P
Ok.. Done.. Hope this answers Day's Question hehe

Why do Talented employees leave companies ?

Largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization.

Why do talented employees leave companies? Come to think of it. This is almost 100% true. Read below & find out the answer.

Early this year, Arun, an old friend who is a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer. He had heard a lot about the CEO of this company, a charismatic man often quoted in the business press for his visionary attitude.

The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office, the very best technology, even a canteen that served superb food.

Twice Arun was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined. "It's a real high working with such cutting edge technology."

Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Arun walked out of the job. He has no other offer in hand but he said he couldn't take it anymore. Nor, apparently, could several other people in his department who have also quit recently. The CEO is distressed about the high employee turnover.

He's distressed about the money he's spent in training them. He's distressed because he can't figure out what happened. Why did this talented employee leave despite a top salary? Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away. The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization.

The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called First Break All The Rules.

It came up with this surprising finding:
If you're losing good people, look to their immediate supervisor.
More than any other single reason, he is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he's the reason why they quit, taking their knowledge, experience and contacts with them. Often, straight to the competition.

"People leave managers not companies," write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman. "So much money has been thrown at the challenge of keeping good people - in the form of better pay, better perks and better training - when, in the end, turnover is mostly a manager issue." If you have a turnover problem, look first to your managers. Are they driving people away?

Beyond a point, an employee's primary need has less to do with money, and more to do with how he's treated and how valued he feels. Much of this depends directly on the immediate manager. And yet, bad bosses seem to happen to good people everywhere. A Fortune magazine survey some years ago found that nearly 75 per cent of employees have suffered at the hands of difficult superiors. You can leave one job to find - you guessed it, another wolf in a pin-stripe suit in the next one.

Of all the workplace stressors, a bad boss is possibly the worst, directly impacting the emotional health and productivity of employees.

Here are some all-too common tales from the battlefield:

Dev, an engineer, still shudders as he recalls the almost daily firings his boss subjected him to, usually in front of his subordinates. His boss emasculated him with personal, insulting remarks. In the face of such rage, Dev completely lost the courage to speak up. But when he reached home depressed, he poured himself a few drinks, and magically, became as abusive as the boss himself. Only, it would come out on his wife and children. Not only was his work life in the doldrums, his marriage began cracking up too.

Another employee Rajat recalls the Chinese torture his boss put him through after a minor disagreement. He cut him off completely. He by passed him in any decision that needed to be taken. "He stopped sending me any papers or files," says Rajat. "It was humiliating sitting at an empty table. I knew nothing and no one told me anything." Unable to bear this corporate Siberia, he finally quit.

HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find public humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave, but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he starts looking for another job.

When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don't have your heart and soul in the job." Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious, too pushy, too critical, too nit-picky. But they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents.

When this goes on too long, an employee will quit often over seemingly trivial issue. It isn't the 100th blow that knocks a good man down. It's the 99 that went before. And while it's true that people leave jobs for all kinds of reasons - for better opportunities or for circumstantial reasons, many who leave would have stayed - had it not been for one man constantly telling them, as Arun's boss did: "You are dispensable. I can find dozens like you."

While it seems like there are plenty ! of other fish especially in today's waters, consider for a moment the cost of losing a talented employee. There's the cost of finding a replacement. The cost of training the replacement. The cost of not having someone to do the job in the meantime. The loss of clients and contacts the person had with the industry. The loss of morale in co-workers. The loss of trade secrets this person may now share with others.

Plus, of course, the loss of the company's reputation. Every person who leaves a corporation then becomes its ambassador, for better or for worse. We all know of large IT companies that people would love to join and large television companies few want to go near. In both cases, former employees have left to tell their tales.

"Any company trying to compete must figure out a way to engage the mind of every employee," Jack Welch of GE once said. Much of a company's value lies "between the ears of its employees". If it's bleeding talent, it's bleeding value. Unfortunately, many senior executives busy travelling the world, signing new deals and developing a vision for the company, have little idea of what may be going on at home.

That deep within an organization that otherwise does all the right things, one man could be driving its best people away.

Source : From Circulated Email

Petrol Dilema

Our Life In the Office

Daily Survival

Work work work & Work

Stories of 2 Brothers in our Nation.

Once, there was a family known as Malaysia. In 1985, they were blessed with their first born, Proton. The family loved Proton all they can. They gave Proton everything. They protected Proton from the bigger boys in Kindergarten. They told Proton, "You're young, you need protection from them. It's okay to make mistakes, you're young. Even if you don't
learn from mistakes...it's okay...you are young."

Proton became spoilt. He always depended on parents and used up all his allowance on useless things. When he had to do his chores, he paid people to do it and the work is lousy, causing the parents having to call repairmen to fix all the mess that he made. Anyway, when Proton was 10 (but he still acted like he is 1 or 2 years old), he had a younger brother, Perodua. At first, everyone thought this younger brother will be like Proton. Anyway, this new baby was more handsome and looks smarter than Proton. Malaysia knew there is a
possibilty Perodua could be smarter than Proton.

Since they love Proton so much, they decided that Perodua can only learn a few things. Cannot learn the same thing as Proton. This is so that Perodua wouldn't beat Proton at what Proton is doing.

Although Perodua was also protected by Malaysia, he learn to be independent very fast. He made good friends with Daihatsu, who had an elder brother Toyota. The two of them helped Perodua in everything.

Perodua, being independent and smart, learnt a lot and in a short while, was becoming as good as, if not better, than Proton. Malaysia realized that Perodua was becoming better than his brother. Although proud of Perodua, they still love Proton best. They paid Lotus (which is older and well known worldwide) to be friends with Proton.

Using this advantage, Proton mentioned Lotus everytime he wanted to tell people about himself. On this own, he was still the same. Moreover, Proton is always not updated. When doing his work, he still uses the typewriter and refuses to use the computer. Perodua, so much younger, used the computer, with broadband for his work. Perodua was improving so
much that Toyota has assigned him with his work, codename Avanza.

2005. Proton is 20 years old, Perodua only 10. It was obvious that Perodua was the more successful of the two siblings. What is worse, Proton said he still need his parents to help him for another 10 years.

He still need to protection from the big boys. In May 2005, Perodua was about the show Malaysia his best work so far...codename Myvi.

Proton, being jealous...quickly came up with an unprofessional remark about Perodua's work and show his work at the same time as Perodua on purpose...codename Savvy

The future of Malaysia and her two kids are still unknown. But it would be obvious that Perodua will shine, leaving Proton crying. It would be a wonder if in 2015, Proton will ask Malaysia for another 10 years of help and protection...maybe this time...protection from Perodua as well...........

Source : Circulated Email

Joke : Pig & Clinton

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened.

About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.

"What happened to you", asked Bill. Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me.

"My God, what did you tell them", asks Clinton. The driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig".

Food .. I Need FOOOODDD

At 1:32pm
Piggy : "Eh.. do we have lunch ar ?"
Siao Siau : "i dunno wor.. mayb got.."
Piggy : "Other sections also eat d... McD wor..."
Siao Siau : "we order mcD also lar :D"
Piggy : "I dont mind... but how bout the others ?"

At 1:40pm
Piggy : "Apa macam ?"
Siao Siau : "go german pub for lunch wor.."
Piggy : "oo ooo"
Siao Siau : "dunno lar.. noone wants to move..no one wanna say anything, so how?!?!? "
Piggy : "must wait big big boss say makan then the others will jalan"
Siao Siau : "yeahh lorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

At 1:57pm
Piggy : "F...... O...... O...... D...... "
Siao Siau : "keke"
Piggy : "Dont laf, in another 30 min i might faint.. "
Siao Siau : "go eat lar"
Piggy : "u know i wan2 mar... "

At 2:12pm
Piggy : "hey, wanto try sumthing ar ?"
Siao Siau : "Wat ?"
Piggy : "think of "food" in your mind... then whisper .. "food food food".. u do it.. i do it.. then we get the others to do it, and c if we can stir sumthing up or not"
Siao Siau : "hahaha, in the MIND?!?!?"
Piggy : "mind ofcoz lar, but also mouthed it lar... like this"
*proceeds to mouthed the words FOOD*
Piggy : "like tat lar.. u get the idea ?"
Siao Siau : "yeahh"
Piggy : "omg, but cannot.. if i mouthed food.. i getting hungrier.. and the article i reading doesnt make sense (-_-") .. i read the words.. but its food in my mind.."
Siao Siau : "how how ... i dun mind McDs but they dun want.. sighh.."

At 2:33pm
Piggy : "AIYYAAAA, In the end its McD !! (-_-") If we know we order earlier..."
Siao Siau : "Yeahhh lorrr.."

At 2:45pm
*Ordered McD*

At 3.15pm
*ACTUALLY Ordered McD*

Madagascar

Last Saturday, I took lovely (or should I say.. Lovely took me :P hehe) to the movies and caught Madagascar


The Cast of Madagascar

This is a sure-watcher, even though the story could have been longer (showtime of 1 hour 30 minutes only) to spice more laughter in , but this movie speaks for itself.

The pig have never laughed his hardest ever since .. ermm.. forgot liao hahaha :P

Anyway this is a very humourous show :D

Go watch it lil piggies.. hehe..

Alphabet Puzzle

solve this puzzle:

letter after F? + half of 8? + shadow of q + opposite of d + letter b4 M + middle of sea+ 2x 19th letter + the middle of sun

what is the answer?

B.U.S.Y

Been extremely busy lately and havent had the time to oink anything :(

Pig is doing 3 persons job rambo style...
Arghh...
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

1. Supporting Current Production System (Primary Task)
2. Helping out in the helpdesk running around solving pc problems (Secondary task)
3. Handling testing environments over 3 different testing scenarios (Extra task)

ARGHH...
no 3 was an added on coz Piggy's Tai Lou have gone for some Java trainning.. leaving piggy all alone to maintain the testing and also handle the production system.. ugghhh

Piggy Ganbate !!!